At fifty

I am fifty years old and I  feel that a huge burden is placed on my shoulders even before I hit this phase. I have bouts of anxieties and oftentimes I get very depressed. I practice yoga daily and also teach this discipline. I have been meditating and I try to eat healthy and live a peaceful life. I have a dog who's been with me for four years now. I feed the strays . I live a very minimalistic life. I am unmarried and I can also get very angry.

As of writing this  my period  has been  2 weeks delayed. I am menopausal and the journey is not easy. I long to have my own living space where  my dog is safe and where I can be comfortable. It has been three years that I have been living a nomadic kind of life.

The pandemic has also brought a great impact to my lot. There is that gap that I am trying to fill by constantly practicing mindfulness. I breathe even if at times I feel like giving up on life. I decide to write my inner struggles to somehow ease the pain and gather strength in the process of unfolding.

I am certain this will pass. Perhaps, when the hormones do not fluctuate anymore and when my core becomes stronger. Until then I acknowledge my vulnerability and I remain open to the workings of the Universe.

Namaste.